Have you moved to Norway because of a Norwegian? Or are you Norwegian and have a foreign partner? Read on to learn about other people in the same situation. You’ll be surprised to find out how similar your thoughts and feelings might be.
This is the second of a series of Interviews with Norwegians (Having A Foreign Partner in Norway). We talked to Nils (name has been changed to protect privacy) who is married to a foreign lady.
How and where did you meet your wife?
We met when we were both studying in university overseas – we happened to rent rooms in the same house and ended up as housemates. We started dating after a month and have been together for the last 6 years.
What made her decide to move to Norway?
She wanted to leave her country and experience living in another country.
How were the first 3 to 6 months of your wife living in Norway?
The first two months was extremely hard on her – she had no friends, no job and I was at work in the day so she was really bored. In addition, she moved here in winter and it was cold, wet and dark. She was chatting with her family and friends from home in the day and really missed them. She was frustrated and by her own admission, was always picking petty fights with me because she kind of blamed me for putting her in this position. I could understand where she was coming from and was prepared to move to her home country if things really didn’t work out in Norway.
In the third month of being here though, she found a job. It wasn’t a job in her profession so she was not completely satisfied but she decided to stick it out and subsequently found a job in her profession 5 months later. She also started going for activities for expats and found her own circle of friends (my friends’ girlfriends made efforts to befriend her but she always felt bad that all of them had to switch to speaking English around her and preferred not to bother them that much). After getting a job and friends, she gradually got happier and now, she doesn’t even want to leave Stavanger!
Starting Norwegian classes and subsequently being able to speak the language also really helped.
What were the major challenges that had to be overcome?
Dealing with UDI and waiting for them to process the visa was a challenge, finding activities to occupy her time while I was at work (even finding activities to do after work in the winter). It was also tough when I had to translate alot of official documents for her as there were many technical Norwegian terms which I could not explain in English.
Was your relationship affected as a result of the move to Norway? If so, how did it change?
In the first few months, our relationship was really strained and she was ready to call it quits and move home a few times but we rode it out. 3 years on, we own a home and have a child together. Our relationship is definitely much stronger now.
Did you find it hard to help your wife integrate into the Norwegian culture?
She had already started learning the language before she moved here and was keen to excel at it. As mentioned earlier, my friends and their girlfriends really made an effort to include her in activities as well. In addition, my family was and still is really nice to her and by nature, she is adaptable and sociable so she didn’t have much problems integrating into the Norwegian culture.
How did your family react to you having a foreign wife?
It didn’t matter one bit to my family that she was foreign, although my mum was worried that I’d leave Norway and move to another country with my wife (she doesn’t have to worry now since my wife definitely wants to live here). My family was really nice and welcoming to her. Also, they had no problems speaking English so my wife really felt at home being around my family. In addition, my aunt is foreign too so they both found common ground. My sister and cousins also made an effort to make her feel part of the family. She would even visit/hang out with members of my family without me being there.
Did you do anything to make your wife’s transition to living in Norway easier?
I warned her about the depressing winters here before she came, surprised her with trips to Italy and London, bought Nintendo Wii and Playstation so we could have some fun at home in the winter. I supported her decision to socialise and meet new people on her own (she felt it was really important that she had her own circle of friends). I went hiking with her (even though I am not a big fan) to tourist attractions here in Stavanger.
Looking back now, is there anything you wish you would have known about the Immigration Process or did to improve the transition?
It would have been great to know that UDI processing times are longer than stated on their website as without a personal number, you really cannot do much in Norway. I would encourage other people in the same situation to apply for their visas as early as possible and be prepared to wait.
What advice would you give to someone in the same shoes as yourself?
Warn your partners about the weather here and suggest/find activities for them to do here. See if you can find other people in the same boat as yourselves – that really helped my wife as she would get together with other ladies and they had the same thoughts, issues and complaints so they could share with one another and get things off their chest.
And, get your partners to learn Norwegian!
Thank you Nils for your time! We wish you and your wife all the best!
Related Articles
About Cynthia Myrnes
Cynthia is a Singaporean who has been living in Stavanger since Feb 2008 with her Norwegian husband. She works as a physiotherapist here and also owns her own petsitting service, Stavanger Petsitter, for the residents of Stavanger. In addition, she manages the Stavanger International Moms group. She loves hanging out with friends, spending time with animals, travelling and watersports such as scuba diving and wake boarding. Most of all, she is enjoying the experience of being a first time mom!
- Web |
- More Posts (169)
