This article looks into the trend of Norwegian men importing foreign wives and then abusing them. In addition, it looks into the different types of violence against women and ends with suggestions of how one can recognize signs of abuse in someone else and how to help them. I understand that this topic may not have any direct link to expatriates in Stavanger but I feel very strongly about this and would like to share all this information with you so that we can all help to put a stop to violence against women.
Increasing globalisation and international mobility have gradually impacted the Norwegian marriage market, and marriages where one or both partners are immigrants or Norwegian-born to immigrant parents are becoming more and more common.
In 1990, 4% of all marriages were between two immigrants or two Norwegian-born to immigrant parents. By 2008, this had increased to 11%. Among the rest of the population, it is more common for men than women to marry an immigrant or Norwegian-born to immigrant parents; 13 and 6% of all marriages in 2008 respectively.
Marriages between men from the rest of the population and female immigrants/Norwegian-born to immigrant parents in particular have increased in recent years, from 6% of all marriages in 1990 to 13% in 2008.
The majority of these men marry women from Thailand, the Philippines and Russia. The number of marriages between women from the rest of the population and male immigrants/Norwegian-born to immigrant parents has remained relatively stable in recent years; 6% of all marriages in both 1990 and 2008. These women usually marry men from Sweden, Denmark, the USA and UK.
From Statistics Norway
Norwegian Men and Their Foreign Brides
The vast majority of Norwegian men marry their foreign brides because of the same reasons they marry their Norwegian counterparts – they met and fell in love. However there is a small percentage of Norwegian men who “import” women from other countries to be their wives.
Who Are These Men?
These men can be those who live in remote areas where the number of Norwegian women suitable for marriage are well below the number of men. They can also be divorcees or widowers looking for companionship. They can be older men who want younger wives. They can be men who are so traditional in their ways and thoughts that modern Norwegian women do not suit them. They can also be serial ‘foreign bride’ importers.
Who Are These Women?
As stated in the statistics above, these women come mostly from Thailand (marked by the fact that the first Thai temple was opened in Oslo in 2007), the Philippines and Russia. They can also come from Africa and Eastern Europe. They are generally uneducated and are looking to upgrade their status and lifestyle. Marrying a Norwegian man, more often than not, gives these women the opportunity to help support their families in their home countries. Also, these women like the Norwegian men’s attitude of ‘family first’ and their willingness to help with the household chores.
Happily Ever After?
Most of these couples do (Love develops, communication improves and life’s good if not great! Even for those couples where ‘love’ is not the main link, the marriage is a symbiotic one: meaning the Norwegian man gets a wife to look after him and the foreign bride gets someone to support her and her family.) However, a small percentage of these couples do not live “happily ever after”.
These foreign wives have to face a whole host of issues: dealing with the weather, a new language (and most of them can’t speak English either), being away from their family and friends, being lowest on the social ranking ladder (in both the Norwegian and expatriate/foreign societies), living in remote areas and being isolated from everything and being treated rudely.
I’ve been mistaken for a Thai before so I know firsthand how rude people can be to these foreign brides. It’s amazing how drastically people’s attitudes change when they realise I’m not Thai.
I also remember meeting a Russian lady who’s married to a Norwegian – she was so shocked that my husband was not a very much older Norwegian man with children from past relationships as she was with such a man herself.
Some unlucky ones might even get abused by their Norwegian husbands. There are many shocking stories of women who have been abandoned or abused by their partners after traveling to Norway and been forced to seek help at the crisis centres and depend on Norwegian social services.
By Norwegian law, a foreign spouse needs to be married for at least 3 years before he/she can get permanent residency. Foreigners may be sent back to their country if the marriage has not lasted for more than three years. Some Norwegian men use this to control their foreign wives. They threaten divorce and to send the foreign bride back to her home country if she does not comply with his wishes or if the marriage has problems.
Some men are even serial ‘foreign bride’ importers: they marry a foreign wife, divorce her and send her home before the three years is up, then get another foreign wife and do the same thing to her.
Of course, it is not only Norwegian men that do this. Many men from many affluent countries are guilty of treating women like commodities. Some ‘mail-order bride’ agencies even bring foreign women over on tourist visas and the men pay a fee to choose and bring a woman home to live with him for 3 months. If he is happy with her and marriage is proposed, the agency gets paid a large sum of money. There have even been stories of the men forcing their wives to prostitute themselves and giving them their earnings. Worse still, some paedophiles have been marrying single mums and bringing them and their children over to Norway so they can sexually abuse them.
Many of these women who are abused tolerate it as much as they can, for many different reasons: they are dependent on the monetary support their Norwegian husbands provide, there is nothing for them back home, it is embarrassing to return home divorced and empty-handed, they are unable to survive independently or they are simply afraid of their husbands.
Norwegian Immigration Rules
The Norwegian government has eased the rules so that women who are abused during marriage can obtain a residence permit before the 3 years are up. This, however, seldom occurs, as the Norwegian Immigration apply very strict rules in regards to evidence of abuse and the justification of possible social and cultural difficulties in the home country upon return. A woman has to prove beyond doubt she has been severely mentally or physically abused, or present evidence that she will suffer from extreme social or cultural disadvantages and difficulties in her home country, should she return.
More information:
Kinds of Violence Against Women
The Women’s Shelter, Norway
What are the services offered by the shelters?
Shelters provide a safe place of refuge for battered women. Women who have experienced physical and / or psychological abuse may seek support and refuge at a shelter. Women seeking help may themselves decide if they wish to stay for a night or two, or over a longer period. They may also choose to just visit and speak to a shelter worker for a few hours, or only seek counseling over the telephone. Shelters work on the principle of help to self-help.
The services that the shelters offer are based on their two-fold platform of action.
Shelters provide:
* A safe place of refuge for battered women and their children
* Support and counseling
* Support in meeting the social services, doctors, lawyers, housing authorities, and other services
* A meeting ground for battered women to meet other women in similar situations
Shelters also work with influencing public opinion and changing societal attitudes. They do so by engaging actively in the public debate and in the media. They also provide information to other women’s organisations, to schools and the health and social services.
Shelters meet with new challenges continually. Shelters, therefore try to meet these challenges and keep updated on developments in society, by attending relevant seminars and conferences. They also organise courses and seminars for shelter workers. In recent years shelters have focused on improving the services for children.
Also, as there has been an increase in the number of immigrant women using the shelter services, shelters have tried to focus on the specific needs of these women.
In addition, shelters are presently working on improving and offering better services for women with disabilities.
Articles:
Alarm Raised Over the Dumping of Foreign Wives
Norway: “I have a new African boyfriend,” says Kenyan woman married to a Norwegian man!
Thai Women Dumped in Norway
Thai Women Exploited and Dumped in Norway
Norwegian Paedophile Ring Exposed
How You Can Help
How to Help an Abused Woman?
Women’s Shelter in Norway
How to Recognize Symptoms of Domestic Violence
Responding to Emotional Abuse: How You Can Help Someone You Know
Tables Turned?
Of course, some Norwegian men get taken for a ride as well. Some of these foreign brides live off them, send their money home to their families and after 3 years, divorce the Norwegian men and bring over their boyfriends (and) kids to Norway!
Note: I do not mean to offend anyone with this article and I do know that only a very small percentage of Norwegian men are guilty of the above but to the abused women, this small percentage is everything. And remember that not all the women who come from Thailand, the Philippines, Africa, Russia, etc, are ‘mail order brides’
What are your views on this? Share them below.
1 comment
Lani Cantor
Apr 25, 2010
Thanks for that Cynthia, like you said, its important that people are informed about domestic abuse in all its forms. Thank you for also pointing out the importance on not making assumptions about people! I’ve heard the disappointing story from a number of foreign women in Stavanger of having someone assume foreign women = prostitute or gold digger.
and yes, most Norwegian guys are great too!